I'm in love with the Benevolent Sociopath

Just as the benevolent sociopath has the opportunity to dissolve negative generalizations made about sociopaths I have the same opportunity to dissolve negative generalizations about empaths. 

Although I am prone to neurotic thoughts, does not mean I have to indulge them.

Although I feel emotions strongly and constantly, does not mean I have to give them precedence over logic and reasoning when I make my decisions.

The benevolent sociopath once posted that he usually tries to wait for his second thought, rather than following first instinct. This strategy has also helped me a great deal, especially when it comes to dealing with my insecurities. For example, whenever someone appears to be upset or irritated with me my first reaction is to feel horrible, stressed and blame myself. After an initial twinge of guilt, however, it’s easy enough to take a step back and reject it, after all it is one of the most useless things to feel. Once I can reject my guilt I’m able to look at the situation objectively. Usually I discover that I have conducted myself as well as I could have and the perceived irritation really has nothing to do with my actions. In some cases there IS something that I could have done differently, but even in this case all I can do is resolve to improve in the future. It’s much easier than my instincts would like to tell me.

Of course, I didn’t always realize that things were this simple. I have made things very stressful for myself in the past. It was the benevolent sociopath’s influence that really inspired me to think things through in this way.

I really believe his personality brings out the best in mine.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been learning so much from my partner’s blog: benevolentsociopathy. I thought it might be interesting to provide my perspective, as the empath in our relationship. For starters, it’s been a giant relief for me for a number of reasons:

1. I’ve been inspired to let go of so many unhelpful neurotic thoughts.

2. I never have to bother with appeasement or ego- stroking.

3. I can be completely honest all the time, and remove all airs. He would see through them anyway. He really knows who I am. 

4. I’ve become aware of so many fallacies that I never questioned before. It’s wonderful to be able to reject things that are truly so meaningless for me and replace them with meaning!

To name a few!

Being a singer I’m faced with an abundance of deferent flatterers and pompous want-to-be-stars and I’m constantly feeling alienated. I chose music because of the sound, and I live to have my heart broken by Schubert’s beauty daily, but there is so much bull shit that surrounds it, so much ritual, so much gossip and so many airs! It’s hard to breathe. This is where my partner comes in. He is my safe haven from the disingenuous. He rescues me from the mundane. He allows me to breathe. I would probably snap if it wasn’t for his personality and the unfaltering support that stems from it. I feel very lucky.

Anyway, feel free to send me questions!